I saw a T shirt in a catalog recently that said: "History Buff: I'd be more interested in you if you were dead." I thought that was funny ...
I compliment myself to think that I could live quite comfortably, and even happily, in a 19th Century environment. Even though I work in television and enjoy the product, and though I obviously blog on the internet and enjoy that, books remain a boundless pleasure. Electricity is nice; central heating is something that I would be reluctant to surrender, but I've lived in houses with wood fireplaces and stoves that not only did a good job, but sometimes too good a job of keeping it warm. Air conditioning? Well, yeah, I guess that's important.
Society, though, I think was more pleasant in its way. I finally got to see the new Coen brothers version of "True Grit" the other night, and was reminded of the baroque language of the day, for which the film was justly celebrated. It reminded me of T.R. Reid's excellent account of his time as the Washington Post's bureau chief in Tokyo, Confucius Lives Next Door. In it, he speculates that the equally elaborate way of Japanese speech presents an insight into the structured society and very low crime rate in that country. I like that idea.
I think it would be nice to live in a somewhat more formal and polite society. I grew up in the 1960s, when youth (and the media culture) rebelled against what they saw as the restricted, limited, rule bound world of the gray flannel man. Though Victorian art (like Art Nouveau) was enjoyed and celebrated in the psychedelic culture, to label something "Victorian" then was to mark it as closed minded and unacceptably, even ridiculously, structured. Everyone was to be free to do as they pleased, and "why can't we just tell the truth all the time, instead of being so ... polite."
Well, 40 years later, I'm not sure it has really worked out. I saw a piece on the internet on this. Discussing the current culture of self-obsession and self-esteem, the author turns to a quote from Marilyn Monroe: "I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best."
"Out of all the profundities ever uttered," Matt Walsh then explains, "what does it say about our society that THIS is the quote we’ve decided to take to heart?" Absolutely right, and explained better than I could later in his blog.
Or perhaps, on the opposite side of the thought, there's this from NPR's "This I Believe" series. Author Dierdre Sullivan explains why she thinks her father was wise to demand, even as a child, that she attend viewings and funerals of friends and acquaintances as well as family. "'Always go to the funeral' means that I have to do the right thing when I really, really don't feel like it," she says. "I have to remind myself of it when I could make some small gesture, but I don't really have to and I definitely don't want to." Being polite, caring enough to not force people to deal with you at your worst, that comes in the small things.
Maybe we could all try a little harder ...
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.
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